Use These Five Concepts to Get a Handle on Your Strongest Feelings

Nuance isn’t just useful. It’s essential.

Sometimes, experiences give us strong feelings. When those feelings are enjoyable, that’s usually regarded as a good thing, and little tension arises around those experiences or their expression. But when those feelings aren’t enjoyable, we may be at a loss for how to cope with them.

In my culture, children are taught from an early age: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Unfortunately, practicing this lets us grow into adulthood without acquiring skills or words that empower us to explore those feelings effectively, or discuss the circumstances or events that inspire them.When we lack the vocabulary to even broach the subject of our inner unease with others in a constructive way — especially if your conversational counterpart is unfamiliar with cooperative approaches to conflict resolution — the attempts we make to address discomforting topics can be ineffective. In the worst case, the unsuccessful attempts only breed further chaos and un-processable feelings.

This can leave a person with conflicts that need managing: interpersonal ones, as well as inner conflicts.

How Can I Even An Emotional Experience?

It’s a fair question.

A few qualitative considerations about emotional experiences can help you feel out the map of your internal landscapes and clear…